22 Pieces Of Timeless Dating Advice That I Wish I’d Started Following Sooner

1. Don’t internalize what you are feeling unless you wish to one day implode. Should that happen, you’ll have caused an underlying hatred for yourself and the person with who you’ve been keeping your feelings.

2. Don’t change You. If you love something about yourself, nurture it regardless of whether the person you’re dating feels threatened by it. If they feel threatened, let them sulk. You continue to do you. Shine. You’re with yourself forever. Whoever you date, well, for the most part, they’re just passing through.

3. You are your project, not anyone else’s. Remember that.

4. Don’t be charmed into submission. Stay sharp. Charisma is very often manipulated and dressed up in a fancy suit. If you fall under this spell, whatever love you receive will only be love toward what he has created in you. Those that need to feel powerful are also desperately seeking confidence. Whisper a sweet blessing into their ear and be on your merry way.

5. Jealousy should never flatter you. Jealousy also never wanes. Any jealousy you are confronted with early on, assume it will get larger and worse. Assume it will create emotional chaos. Assume it will more than break your heart. Assume it will break your spirit. Is one man worth your spirit? Never. You’ve learned what you need to, now pick yourself up and go.

6. If you question a relationship right out of the gate, resolve to leave it. What you doubt in the beginning will always follow you. Doubt only intensifies. Don’t betray your gut.

7. If you catch yourself playing games, sit yourself down and ask what’s going on. What’s concerning you? What do you feel is at stake? If it’s your feelings, dive in. Feelings come and feelings go. Plus, the feelings that our stories inspire in us are eventually what comes to building our character.

8. Don’t be afraid of feeling crushed. Be afraid of living a life where your heart was never once broken. To live outside heartbreak is to live a pale existence, is to numb out. That’s nothing to glorify. So, if your heart is at stake, press on in full pursuit. You are challenging yourself. Let that excite and entice you. Let that be enough to make you proud and brave at heart. But, if your integrity is at stake, wipe your hands clean while you can. No relationship is worth losing your integrity over.

9. Games are for wussies. Don’t be one of them. Remind yourself that the second you play a game is the second you begin losing all that you were capable of having. It’s also the instant you begin to lose all that you’ve already got.

10. If you feel uncertain, hone in on what’s in question. Call it into your corner, and seek to expand your awareness. If you can’t understand something, sleep on it. But, if you keep waking up aching with uncertainty, beware that suspicion may be involved. If you are suspicious of your partner, you will know because your initial uneasiness will evolve into stress, panic, and disdain. Trust in love so honest that it would never be something you could panic over.

11. Don’t sink into a routine while you are dating. Desire will burn out.

12. Don’t garner up expectations either, as expectations rarely manifest themselves.

13. Do beware of what exactly you admire in others and bask in that recognition. Do a good favor. Create a space for those admirable qualities to come alive. Soak “your person” in. Appreciate with ease.

14. Idealism is for the antsy. Impatience love never provides an arena for love.

15. Don’t be fooled by talk of you being some fantasy girl. Feel honored, maybe. But, maintain your humility and by all means, stay wise. Fantasy girls are just that, fantasies. Men may chase them but to catch hold of them and commit themselves? Even if they had you, they’d feel forever small in your presence. It just won’t happen. Even women need something to constantly chase.

16. Affection in person is important. See whether your romance can extinguish the noise of a crowded room. Shoot for this.

17. Pay attention to the way you kiss. Kissing is the way we talk about our relationship with total transparency.

18. Don’t be fearful of your voice, it’s yours to use.

19. There’s no formula for successful dating. Love as only you can love.

20. If you get the feeling that someone is controlling every decision along the way, be careful. Inevitably even his charm will manage to bruise you. These men aren’t criminals, still, take heed.

21. Remember, charm is control dressed up with lots of bells and whistles. This type is more interested in how they are portraying themselves than how they are treating you. What they are really after is you treating them as they wish to be treated. This kind of desire is agenda based. If you fall for it, expect to be nudged into all sorts of directions, all the while being tricked into thinking that every motion has always been your idea. This is tricky and it’s also heinous. This isn’t love or lust, this is a small man’s pursuit of praise. Be careful. This type is ruthless. This type is slick.

22. One of life’s greatest differences is often lost on us. It goes a little something like ”I love you” versus “I’m in love with you.” Heck, I love 2 out of every 5 people I meet but I don’t know how many people I have ever been in love with. This is rare. That’s nothing to be ashamed of, but it’s certainly something to acknowledge and make peace with.